Five years ago around the time of my 40th birthday I started to make a list of the 40 lessons I learned along the 40 year journey I’d been on. It was a milestone birthday and I was coming out of a low point in my life. I battled with depression, did the work, and got myself back up. At the time, I thought maybe I had lived long enough and collected enough life experience that people might find a few of the lessons I jotted down helpful. What I didn’t know at the time, is that I was actually making that list for my future son. Five years later into life’s journey, I’m a dad, I’m married, and have five more lessons to add to the list… Well, actually there are a lot more lessons learned from marriage and parenthood, but that’s for another day.
- Mistakes are okay, excuses are not.
- Gratitude is the most wonderful mindset to be in. Spend as much time there as possible.
- Exercise and smart eating are better for my mind than they are my body. Take good care of both.
- Forgiveness is a virtue. Go first. And start with yourself.
- Family is everything. Meet them where they are – not where you think they should be.
- The Law of Attraction. I subscribe to it.
- Relationships take time. Time to invest in them, time to trust, time to heal, time to forgive, time to love… choose relationships intentionally and make the most of your time.
- Children are the future. Teach them to be kind to one another, and let them fail once in a while.
- Having a beer with an old friend you haven’t seen in 10 years is a blessing. Reach out to them more often.
- Writing a hand written thank you card is the art of connection – be connected to people.
- Meditation, prayer, and spending time in nature are good for the mind, body and soul.
- Goals are more likely to be accomplished when they are written down. Write them down.
- Call your mother. How many friends do we have that would love just one more talk with mom?
- Self-help books are meant to be read and re-read. Then pass them on. Someone will be grateful that you cared.
- A morning routine is your best time. Protect it with a good night of sleep.
- Laughter is great medicine. Taking ourselves too seriously and holding on to past pain prevents laughter.
- It’s a lot easier to blame and complain than it is to understand and take responsibility.
- Good things come to those who go get them.
- We feel better when we are tan and able to play outside. Go outside more.
- A little bit of everything is generally ok. Too much is always too much.
- There are no shortcuts. Spending time looking for one is a waste of time.
- Your title at work means very little to anyone. Your reputation on the other hand does.
- Work on things you are passionate about. You will have very little to complain about if you do.
- Learn to say thank you and accept a compliment gracefully. Don’t deflect it. It is yours.
- Stay in the moment. Put the device down at the table when you are with your person. Quality time is precious.
- Farmers produce our food. Get to know them, and understand what they do. You will appreciate meal time a little more.
- Treat your restaurant server like you would the owner. Please say thank you.
- It’s ok to be vulnerable. When we are vulnerable, we find strength in ourselves we didn’t know we possessed.
- Reach out to coaches and teachers and let them know that the work they do matters. Long after retirement, a teacher is still and will always be a teacher at heart.
- Technology moves fast and it takes a little effort to keep up, but don’t be afraid of it. Embrace it.
- Politics and religion. Figure yours out, and I’ll figure mine out. And let’s still be friends.
- Sportsmanship and teamwork are more important than trophies. Collect teammates for the rest of your life and hang sportsmanship on your walls.
- Believe in yourself. If you don’t, no one else will either.
- Remember where you came from. Your roots are still planted there.
- If you feel like you need someone to talk to, you are not alone. Make the call, ask for help, and do it for you. What other people think is not important. You being here does.
- Everyone’s journey moves at a different pace, in different directions and at different times. Your journey, regardless of where it takes you, is your story. Write it the way you want it to be read long after you are gone.
- It takes courage to grow up and be who you truly want to be. Be a lion. Your future self will thank you.
- Listening is easier when we make eye contact. Be present and intentional about listening.
- Be a gentleman. Open doors, stand to greet her, share your jacket. Young men are watching your example. Be the example your sisters and daughters deserve.
- We can make more money. We can’t make more time.
- Failure tests the mind and the man. How we fail is how we grow.
- Faith is the strongest muscle we posses; it can lift you up when you can’t lift yourself. Work on it.
- Having a son strengthens a man’s heart and his mindset. If you have a son, be a man. For him, and for yourself.
- Generosity is a superpower. Being generous with ourselves as well as others feels good, and is good.
- Standing tall and maintaining a confident posture sets the tone for every room we walk into. Don’t slouch, shoulders back, chin up. You belong in the room.
Cheers to five more years!